As the rotorwash of your vigilant warhawk kicks up the sweet aroma of crackling bacon, a gleeful squeal breaks the deafening silence - a lone ham hock makes a mad dash for the foyer of the capitol rotunda. you impulsively light up the now dystopian pre-dawn landscape with a deluge of pitiless ordnance. democracy has failed you. it has failed your hatchlings. it’s time to vote with your trigger finger… corralled around the current 2016 us presidential election primary calendar, ballot barrage is a whimsical gag-political aerial shooter overcrowded by a tidal wave of smarmy barnyard baby-kissers. armed to the wattle with a generous arsenal of fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency, you circle the capitol in your mighty gunship of righteous indignation and selectively thin the herd with the judicious fury of an ardent patriot, hell-bent on turning the political tide. tied to the irl massive-multiplayer game of the us elections, each red pig or blue chicken that escapes into the safety of the central capitol building during your own individual session is tallied among the thousands of online players on either side of the conflict. this noble struggle crescendos as the deadline for each real-world state caucus threatens to forever solidify the political bias of that state -- beginning with iowa on february 1st and accelerating to a triumphant climax this november. *lay all your eggs in one basket and strategically scramble into new states before those mud-soaked slop-guzzlers can gain the upper hoof or team up with your honey-cured compatriots to launch a midnight counter assault that will have those cocky feather-fingers losing their benedicts before the rooster crows *peaceful demonstration is for the birds: strike at the core of every red tape-hugging bureaucrat on the battlefield using fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency *vote early and often by refueling your gunship for that victorious coup de gras *peck down into underlying real-time data, then hatch a plan that will send those little piggies all the way home *keep up on the latest political faux pas with sound bites from real-world bird brains and petulant porkers *that’s not all, folks: have those truffle-sniffers wetting their trough trousers by forcing a recount - reopen any previously contested state for an additional 72 hours or throw cash at the race to seamlessly buy votes. all's fair in love, war, and the big business of ballot barrage!
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